Self Empowerment and Prioritising Consistency!

I really felt like today would be really important to talk about self empowerment, because it's something that I embed into everything I do. - As you probably know if you have me on socials or listen to my podcast!

I thought it would be useful to hone in on what self empowerment actually is and then discuss the extra components that come with being it and how to live your life in accordance.

Also, I think, all of this New Year hype has got us rejigging our plans and structure in regards to how we live our lives and carry out our daily exercises etc.

So on the topic of self empowerment, I wanted to really go into my interpretation of it, it could look different to everyone else. At the time in my life where trauma was leading self-empowerment looked to me like being the boss, being in charge, being in control, having all the answers being a know it all. Doing things my way and when I wanted to. That was my version of that then. However, since my healing journey, and taking off my armour, and the need to prove myself. (Now don't get me wrong. There's still some debris that I'm not gonna say that I'm perfect, and it's all healed and gone forever, because that's part of the journey and always talk about this is that you know, healing is is circular, not linear. So we're always gonna be met with some shadows and some wounds that we've dealt with in the past). Now, since doing the main bulk of healing and really clearing away so much hard stuff what I know self empowerment to be is that feeling of feeling grounded in who I am, and knowing who I am, and not needing to prove myself because of it. Now that does take time to get there, and when I say time, I mean practice and daily choices. And this is where the word consistency plays a massive part for me , because there is no way that I would have ever achieved self-empowerment if I hadn't been consistent in my daily practices. Now, the toxic version of that does look like being unwavering in that, you know, like being so methodical and meticulous in the tasks an practices I have to do, but equally, knowing what the other side of that looks like, is the reason why its so important for me to prioritise actually doing the tasks instead of letting it slip and potentially falling back into old patterns. An example being I pride myself in, meditating twice a day is because when I don't, I dont feel grounded I start reacting instead of responding from a space of knowing/grounded-ness. I say grounded-ness quite a lot, because I used to feel like ego was really far forward, pushing so forward at a hundred miles an hour all the time. and because of that surrender felt so scary, It was hard to let go. It felt like a weakness to me at the time. I know now the grounded space in the middle and being human is being able to tip backwards and forwards when it feels right to do so, and you'll only know if it's right to do so for you, If you are grounded in that space. Think of a pendulum, It's like that. You have to swing forward and back to live life in general and that feeling of of really knowing yourself is just so powerful, and you only get to that space through really looking inward and asking yourself these questions. (And this is something that's come up on the podcast and you know our blogs and all of the things all of the time like, how do you find self-empowerment? And the biggest part of that is the one thing that people don't want to look at, which is) what are you most afraid of?

Because, I promise you when you can befriend your fear and your shadow side, and work with it. That is a game changer, because then your fear becomes your ammunition to push you forward.

For me, my fear has always been failure. I've always been afraid to fail, and I think because of lots of my relatives passed away when I was young I felt like I needed to live a full life for them and I felt needed to prove myself, because no one really believed in me, in my life and my dreams in general. Because of that I felt like I had to keep pushing forward, proving myself to other people that I could be a professional dancer, that I could make a business, that I could heal and make something out of this. Yes it is slightly toxic but equally, because I knew that and had the self awareness to dive in I could ask myself, what happens if I did fail?

The answer, nothing, nothing really and truly what happens but if I were to weigh out the options the main thing is, I could be stuck in a really unhappy life doing something that I hate or didn't enjoy but I could get a job doing anything but maybe I'd find another passion? Or I could keep going and life could lead me through another path with a better outcome? It is important to pull it apart into those small, simple steps and just look at it like that because we can see it's really not that big of a deal right? We put the weight on ourselves, no one else did that - and if someone else has put pressure on you, it is your choice to accept or decline it!!

Another one for me was to be seen as a successful person, in other words, what people thought about me. But, (a big one) what I know for sure is especially from doing the work, is that what people think about me is their problem, not mine and that is such a reclamation of your power! We hold the power always, but we give it away. You give it away to those people judging you, you give it to your fear, and let the fear lead you, you give it to society, (what is their expectation of you), and you may even feel like you give it to your employer. Maybe you give them your power, because you know what you actually want to do with your life and career seems so far fetched that you're not willing to step forward into it, That is what disempowered looks and feels like.

So calling back our power is in that knowing, this is what I'm afraid of, so what am I going to do differently?

And this is how we've become self empowered because we look at those fears and we can use them as a tool to push us forward. Okay, I don't want to fail. I'm scared of failing. So what can I create, do, or learn to help benefit me?

For example, in the lockdown I couldn't be a professional dancer anymore, because of pandemic firstly and also I realised that that was a dream that I made when I was 18 years old. I'm now 28 at the time. I was left to think well, what what can I do?

I didn't want to say that I gave up because you know I didn't, and I still loved dance. I had to ask myself, how can I make this work for me? And actually, the first thing I thought about was let's go back into education because they know I'm growing and learning, because this is another thing, I'm a pure example of this as well, sometimes we want to skip to the end part. I wanted to go from my strength of being a professional dancer, to jump into a strength in something else that I could feel successful in.

I know truly, that's not how it works. And if that did happen, you would have cheated so many steps of your journey that actually, you would probably end up failing anyway, because you did it the shortcut way which never works.

By the way, not saying it can't be easy, because it absolutely can be easy. But when it's in alignment. This is there is something to learn every step of the way, but I think it does get to be easy if you enjoy it.

For me, to prevent myself from feeling like I failed it felt right to go back into education, from there I started to expand and think about the connections that I had in the dance industry already, the schools that I'd been to. And then I started to build up from that space. Now that does take time, and I'm still not at Z yet. I'm not at the end of my goal here, but I'm still probably maybe at D, E or F. But that is all part of my journey and I'm grateful for it. I can't even explain to you how wonderful it is to see how this idea started. Even further back, looking at my childhood, into who I was all of those years ago, and what I've learned every step of the way to get me to be this person I am now, that can share all of my gifts and experience to help other people become their most empowered selves.

That for me, is really what we could be utilising, and that is what where your self empowerment lies.

I speak about this often, this case study that we build up for ourselves, and whatever you think is what you become, attract, and have. If you have always thought of yourself as unmotivated, then the universe will always show you you evidence of you being unmotivated. Whereas, if you change that thought process and say it gets to be easy for me now, the universe will show you constantly ways for it to be easy for you now.

In every element of self-empowerment and empowerment as a whole, YOU have to choose it.

You have to choose it. That's your power. You have the choice. So if you choose to not do that workout that day because you don't feel like it one. What the repercussions of that are you gonna feel lethargic? Are you not gonna sleep well that night because you didn't exercise? Are you gonna be over thinking what happened in the day, because actually, the exercise is a mental release for you. And or is your body just really exhausted? And you you just don't have it in you today. Weigh up these options - if I'm not going to go to the gym today, but I'll go tomorrow, then make sure you go tomorrow. It's having discipline. Do the thing that you said you were going do.

That's all building your self-empowerment is, trusting yourself, respecting yourself and having the discernment to know if it feels right to do it in that moment. For me personally, there are nights where I am exhausted, and I just want go to bed. But I meditate before I go to sleep sitting up got a whole little routine, and I know that when I do that it clears my mind, and I have a great sleep. The times that I haven't done it, which has been probably one off occasions, maybe on holiday. I've had a few drinks and fall asleep without realising, and my dreams are wild, even still to this day and thats why I do it.

I wanted to show you this is why it's important, and this is why I do it, but it is on trial and error and when you set a new task or a new thing that you want to do there are going to be some setbacks, because that's part of your hero's journey. You know you are the hero of your own life. You have the power to be an achieve everything you want to be a more. You just have to keep choosing it.

I hope from this article you can see how much power you hold and by making choices you stand fully in your own power owning the title of a self-empowered person.

Consistency choose whats right for you through knowing what it is you want for yourself, what your afraid of and why you want it too! The WHY is your purpose which I’ve covered before.

If anything I’ve mentioned resonates please do reach out, book in. a session with me. If you are Kent based I am hosting an event on Saturday 10th February. Or check out my empowerment tools and podcast!

Love and light xx