Navigating the festive season
This time of year is crazy isn’t it. I think every single person I know is overwhelmed to some degree whether its excitement or dread! - Also doesn’t help that we are currently in Mercury Retrograde too so communication, technology and transportation are all over the shop!
This particular season forces us to define our worth, whether it’s from monitoring the love from the people in our lives or from the amount of money we earn and can spend on our loved ones (the amount of presents we buy and receive). It is no wonder people feel resentful with giving. So many people are just over it. But this season forces it, forces us to be social and generous. As pessimistic this may have started its not a rant about this season its a blog to make you feel seen and heard. I for one love the warmth of festive spirit, but I’m not really a fan of forced gift giving!
Which brings me on to the point I share often, that everything has polarity, an opposite and a lot of the time you can be all things at the same time. For example, you can love Christmas but hate all of the food that comes with it and or love your family but actually not want to spend much time with them. Everything you feel is valid, it doesn’t need to be wrong or right if it feels true to you. And thats the point here, when you know what you want and like, follow it.
This season is prime people pleasing season which if you have read my previous blog you will know, one I hate people pleasing because I was one for so long, but not just that, the reactive emotions people pleasing causes us to feel: resentment, passive aggression and frustration are all unnecessary. This is because we can avoid people pleasing in general by doing what WE want. Now around the festive period especially if you have a close family, you will want to see everyone and perhaps give gifts, eat drink and be merry but please please please not at your own detriment. I can assure you that a large % of the arguments that happen around the festive period are because you don’t want to do something or be with certain people, but you are anyway!
So how can you avoid all of this commotion, confrontation and kerfuffle?
Speak with your family/partner/friends and make a schedule. Yes put it in a diary/calendar! When you can see it in front of you instead of in your mind it relieves some of the overwhelm.
Choose where you want to go and for how long for. Just because Sally has invited you around 3-7 you an actually just go between 5-6 if that suits you better.
Have a conversation about who is buying for who, maybe opt for a secret Santa instead of buying for everyone. Even instead of presents you could all meet up and have a fun day out instead.
You can opt out. You are allowed to not do any of it. Yes you may offend a few people but if it means keeping the peace a quiet day in could be an option. It is only one day after all.
If you do choose to go and do everything even though you don’t want to, to make others happy, focus on that, focus on the fact that you are making someone else’s day by being there. Instead of resentment replace it with being of service.
Remember more than anything this season only holds the value YOU place on it. If you have always seen it as an important time to spend with your loved ones but you don’t fancy going out and about this year thats fine. The concept was a story you have been telling yourself and you are allowed to tell yourself a new one, Maybe the new story is my family and friends know how much I love them whether I am with them in person or not.
It really does get to be that easy, as humans we notoriously over complicate things. It can be simple if you allow it to be.
Ultimately, whatever you choose to do this year I hope you are brave enough to put you 1st because this is the thing, when you are happy, when your cup is full , everyone around you benefits.
I have a podcast on navigating conflict and having a “good” argument. Listen here.
Happy festive season!
Sending you love and light and as always for further support on any of the topics raised in this blog, or advice and guidance for 2024 drop me a message!