Healing your Inner Child to receive the abundance you deserve
For those of you that know me and follow my story, will know I have been through the journey of healing my inner child wounds across a 4 year span. For those of you that don’,t here is some context. I grew up with an addict parent, in a volatile home, I faced daily racism and between the ages of 12-17 I had 11 members of my family die. I faced many set backs in my career and life and I did let it define me. I wore my trauma as a badge of honour. I was ‘the strong one’. (my life in a nutshell).
I am about to turn 33. The pandemic hit when I was 28. That rude awakening forced me to address trauma that had been stored in my body for those 28 years, so to say it hit me like a tsunami would be an understatement. I was suffocated by my emotions. Emotions that I had continuously pushed down throughout the corse of my life. I kept myself busy in a loop of striving for perfectionism because focusing on being perfect stoped me from being present. But that year, 2020, I got to face every part of me. For the first time in my whole life I got to connect back to my inner child and ask her how she felt and what she needed and boy it was heartbreaking!
I was able to connect to my inner child through meditation for those not as woo woo as I am. We all have access to every version of ourselves, we can tap in to those parts whenever we need to. I didn’t know this until that point. I am a fast learner and after listening to some guided meditations and attending vertual sessions I was able to take myself there and as a result I now guide my clients the same way. If you are interested I have an inner child healing meditation you can access here.
Back to my inner child. She said she was scared and she needed love. It was me, adult me that she needed love from! My whole life I’d given love outwardly to everyone, but what I believe now is if you dont love yourself (my definition of self love is self acceptance + self respect) then the love you are giving out to others is conditional. How you feel about yourself is what you project outwardly. So I want you to think about that the next time you go to talk down to yourself. I want you to imagine baby you and you saying those thoughts to them because thats essentially what we have all been doing subconsciously our entire lives. - This isn’t to shame you, In was you, this is to make you accountable, know you know you can make more supportive choices ay!
One of the main reasons I know my inner child didn’t feel safe is because I hadn’t created a home in myself. I didn’t know how to switch off and as a result of always needing to protect myself and my family I was hyper-vigilant and hyper-independent. My cortisol levels where through the roof. I was in constant fight response. I hadn’t cried in front of anyone for 10 years but would cry myself to sleep every night.
The pandemic presented the opportunity for me to face myself head on. It was also my Saturn return (a chance to change the course of my life astrologically) so as always, I dived fully into the process of healing in order to create the safety in my mind body and soul that my inner child and my adult self desperately needed.
There are multiple ways to embark on this journey. If you have access to a therapist thats a start but I do believe we need a mental release and physical release in order to holistically release what no longer serves us. This is my work so if you are reading this and resonating please do reach out! If you aren’t ready to talk about it just yet here’s how you can begin to work through your feelings yourself.
Journal. Start writing down how you feel. There is a cathartic release and something ritualistic about putting pen to paper. It has been part of spiritual practices since the beginning of time! -Yep even on cave walls! It also allows you to see into yourself and process your thoughts and feelings. I have a journal is you don’t know where to start. Purchase here.
If writing isn’t your thing you can voice note yourself and delete it afterwards, or speak to someone. A mentor (me) a therapist or a love one you trust. What I will say is if you want to speak to your parent about this they will naturally get defensive at first because your childhood was in there hands. They may feel you are blaming them which you won’t be as we understand everyone is doing the best they can with what they know which brings me on to the next point.
Forgive. Yourself, your parents, society, the universe, bullies, ex’s. Not for them but for you! A way I do this is writing a letter to that person and then burning it. At that point you are releasing it to the universe and freeing yourself. Holding a grudge is like holding a hot coal - its only you that is getting burnt! Use that energy to create instead of resent!
Move your body! After completing one, all, or any of the tasks I’ve given do a physical activity that will tangibly release the stored trauma out! The heavy the emotion the more vigorous the exercise. IF you purge out a really heavy emotion go for a run after, dance or shake. (Consult a professional if you haven’t done anything life this before) Somatic exercises are amazing to add in to your daily practice to help with this too.
And most importantly MEDITATE! You need to connect back to yourself. There are millions of guided meditations you can listen to online (including mine!) Even just 5 mins before you have your morning tea/coffee.
We are the only home we will always have, in order to create safety you need to create a solid foundation of self acceptance and self respect because once you have that thats where the abundance has space to flow in!
Your inner child wants to play, to be free and they cant to do that when they are in survival mode. You hold all the power and the beauty of healing in an quantum sense is that all versions of you exist at the same time! There will never be a reason to not heal. - Unless you want to live in misery and pain forever?
By me embarking on my healing journey I have been able to access a freedom I never knew was possible! Even waking up in the morning and feeling light and excited everyday opposed to stressed and overwhelmed.
I love myself so much and I know as a result of me healing has improved the lives of everyone around me, as we are a mirror of our universe remember!
Please do drop me a message if this resonated! And reach out for 1:1 support.
You deserve the love you seek. When you heal you give the people in your life the permission to heal too.
Love and light xx