Drop your shield
I don’t know who needs to hear this but, I wish someone had said this to me a long time ago!
We all know that we have been living in a patriarchal society for generations and as a result, as women we have had to adapt in order to survive, but also, the revelation that we deserve to thrive.
Now, way back when, women didn’t want for much just a roof over their head and a family to nurture (at least society would have us believe this!). Now, in this modern world, you have to know how to ‘make it’, meaning we were shown by men and the large majority of women in power, the only way to be successful was to grind, hustle and power through. I know first hand you can’t live like that unless you develop armour and a shield to protect you through all the dragons you have to slay - a metaphor of course, although I’m sure some of you have met some real life dragons in your time too!
The problem with going to battle for success every day of your life is, it’s exhausting and empty! You spend so much energy in DOINg there’s no time to BE. (Heavy in the masculine energy and not in the feminine as I often speak of) Even your rest days you fill with something productive so you don’t look lazy and if you do have a lay in you justify it with a reason and not just because you wanted to!
You are constantly either working, planing work, or overthinking EVERYTHING! Even in conversations, if anyone tells you you are working too hard you have an answer or get defensive!
I feel exhausted writing this, knowing thats how I used to live my life. Lets all take a deep breathe and release!
I wish someone would have said to me stop fighting to prove yourself, your worth isn’t tied into what you do but who YOU are. The YOU underneath all the fighting, trying and overthinking. Drop your shield, lower your sword and walk off the battlefield that you have created for yourself.
I wish someone had asked me, what does happiness look like for you outside of success. What does peace feel like to you?
Because thats the irony isn’t it! (Well for me it was) I wanted to work hard to BE successful so I could FEEL peace. Not knowing that 1. I could create that for myself in my everyday life but 2. I didn’t even know what that looked like without the shiny accolades or something tangible to show for myself!
So how do you allow yourself to feel safe enough to drop your shield?
Redefine what success looks like for you. Then find examples. As I started to come out of hustle culture I dove deeper into spirituality, meeting women that lived a life of balance and ease. Because I saw it, I knew it was achievable - also some of these women were 6 figure business owners so if they could earn that money and live a balanced life I’m in! (money isn’t the goal by the way, financial freedom is)
Ease yourself out of force. You cant just one day stop everything and expect your life to transform, I mean some people can but to me that wouldn’t work. I have been vegetarian now for 3 years. I started by cutting out one meat at a time over the course of 9months and I haven’t looked back! It’s the same with coming out of force. This is a business example but it may help. I worked 3/4 jobs a day some days, now, I’m not dancing as much or barely really so physically my body is more relaxed - and the best shape I’ve been in may I say! - and with the work I do now, mentoring and facilitating, I charge more for what I do which means I’m not over working myself and I am receiving more money in exchange for my gifts and talents. This was a transition I have made over the course of 2 years. It would be reckless of me to have stopped everything and just decided to start a new business - unless I had the financial backing and or clients at the ready! Slow and steady builds solid foundations!
Do the inner work!!! Until I started journalling I had no idea that I had been bottling up my emotions and traumas for 28 years! (I’ve written blogs about this in more detail if you haven't read them before!) And this is the thing with the universe, once you open the door to self development and healing it doesn’t close! I was having more conversations around healing and even chose to focus on confidence building in dance as part of my masters degree, which opened the door to me realising I had experienced childhood trauma. This part is fundamental, as if I didn’t start doing the work, I would have never understood myself, my trauma, but also the protective mechanisms I had adopted in order to keep myself and my family safe.
As I always say with healing from trauma, we develop mechanisms in survival mode to keep us safe, but when we are no longer in danger we don’t know how to shut off. This was me. The reason I strived so hard for success was because I wanted to prove to people that you can go through extreme hardship and be sucessful. Funny enough that is still my mission, although the lense is different now. I don’t need to have anything tangible to show for it, other that my story and how I show up. I am the most whole, shinny version of myself now, in all of my authenticity and vulnerability, opposed to the version of myself I was fighting so hard to be. The me who was the loudest woman in the room and the most supportive friend, but cried myself to sleep every night for 20 years.
So if you are no longer in danger, drop your shield. Welcome in support and rest! Admit things are hard if they are hard and allow people to help you! Even if its just opening up to a friend over a cup of tea or asking your partner to put the dinner on tonight as you’ll be in late. There is no medal for doing it all on your own, trust me I know! I would be the most decorated woman alive if that were the case! We are social beings, we actually need human interaction in order to survive, you can die from loneliness you know! A bit off topic but relevant, because whats the point in fighting so hard to win at life but having no one to fight for? Be it friends or loved ones.
Drop your shield because you dont have to prove yourself to anyone! The moment you release the need to DO you allow yourself to BE and that is where the Goddess within you is reborn. She’s been waiting to be set free and only you hold the key. She cant get out with you shield blocking the way!
Drop your shield because you are beautiful and successful enough as you are. When you allow yourself to be you allow the universe to work through you. No more force, but ease.
I hope this brings a sense of clarity and softness into your life. If this has triggered you in anyway this is a sign their is a childhood wound that needs to be addressed, for additional 1:1 support drop me a DM on my socials or see how to work with me here. I have a journal available that you can purchase here.
For my FREE meditation series including a morning and evening one if listened to regularly will set you up for days filled with happiness click here.
I will be dropping a FREE Masterclass in the next week so keep your eyes peeled!
Drop your shield and welcome in joy. You deserve it
Love and light xx