Relational Leadership on Stage: The Difference Between Speaking to Sell and Speaking to Transform

The Woman Who Knows the Stage

I have spent a third of my life on stages.

As a dancer.
As a choreographer.
As a workshop leader and facilitator.
As a teacher.
Now as a speaker, an MC, and a woman guiding rooms into deeper self remembrance.

The stage has never been foreign to me. It has been home.

Because of that, something in me can feel the subtle difference between being paid to speak and being positioned to sell.

It is not always obvious on the surface. The talk can be polished. The slides can be powerful. The message can be motivating.

Yet the energy underneath it is different.

And when you have lived on both sides of the stage for most of your life, you feel that difference in your body.

Paid to Speak vs Positioned to Sell

What I have observed in this industry is that many people invest in speaking opportunities primarily to elevate their business profile and acquire clients. The stage becomes a visibility strategy. The room becomes potential revenue.

There is nothing inherently wrong with that. Events often require sponsors. Some speakers are paid. Some pay to be there. Both dynamics can coexist and serve a purpose in the ecosystem of a well run day.

It does not have to be either or. It can be both.

However, the internal posture of the speaker matters.

When someone steps onto a stage needing to make their money back, there is often an invisible pressure. The focus subtly shifts toward proving value quickly. The attention leans toward conversion. The room can feel like something to secure rather than something to serve.

For me, that has never been the lens.

Not because I am against business growth, but because I am naturally visible. I have always had connections. I am already seen as a change maker and thought leader in the spaces I move within. Therefore, I have never needed the stage to validate my authority.

I step onto a stage to deliver an experience.

Because I am not here to perform transformation.
I am here to facilitate remembrance.

The Art of Bringing the Room With You

There is a difference between teaching a lesson and bringing an audience on a journey.

One informs.
The other transforms.

Many speakers focus on what they are saying. Fewer are attuned to how the audience is receiving it. The gap between those two is where connection either deepens or dissolves.

I call myself an energy alchemist because I read rooms instinctively. I feel when attention drops. I sense when resistance rises. I notice when a collective exhale happens.

This is not performance. It is attunement.

It is knowing when to slow down.
When to anchor the body.
When to invite reflection.
When to soften the room before the next speaker steps forward.

This is also why I curate spaces beyond my own talks.

I have begun MCing and hosting events. I lead embodiment sessions between speakers so that the audience feels mentally, physically, and spiritually prepared to receive what comes next. I ensure the energy is cohesive rather than fragmented. I weave the intention of the day through every transition.

That, to me, is expertise.

Because a powerful event is not just a lineup of impressive talks. It is an energetic arc. It is a journey that carries the audience from arrival to integration.

When that arc is held properly, the impact multiplies.

Speaking From Lived Experience

I share this perspective not as critique, but as contrast.

I have been the woman on stage.
I have been the woman in the audience.

For decades.

I know what it feels like to be captivated.
I know what it feels like to be sold to.
I know what it feels like to be truly seen.

And I know how rare that last one is.

I am aware that my lens may be different because of the depth of time I have spent in these spaces. Perhaps I am rare in this way. However, I believe there are others who feel it too. The quiet knowing that something deeper is possible.

The stage is not just a platform for information. It is a living exchange. A relational field. A shared nervous system.

When a speaker is fully present, the audience comes with her. When she is internally calculating outcomes, the audience feels that distance.

Relational transformation will always outlast rushed return on investment.

Because when a woman remembers who she is in a room, she does not just buy something. She leaves altered. She speaks differently. She leads differently. She trusts herself more deeply.

That is the impact I am here for.

If This Resonates

If you are hosting an event and you want someone to hold the energetic spine of the day, to curate the flow, to anchor the audience between sessions, and to ensure your core intention is felt from beginning to end, I would love to support you as your MC and space holder. We can explore how I can serve not only on the day itself, but in the preparation leading up to it, so the experience lands exactly as you envisioned. Email me here.

If you are a speaker who feels disconnected from the room, as though you are delivering lines rather than leading a journey, Voice of a Leader was created for you. It is for the woman who wants her presence to be as powerful as her message.

And if something inside you is stirring as you read this, a deeper knowing that you are here to build something meaningful, to be seen not just visibly but undeniably, Unforgettable is the space where that identity is embodied.

There is room for every model in this industry. There is room for sponsors and paid speakers. There is room for strategy and soul.

My work simply ensures that when you step onto a stage, the room does not just hear you.

It remembers itself through you.