Things I’ve Learned at 31
Heyy! I know its been a long time since I’ve written a blog and quite honestly I don’t know why I felt the need to write one but I felt the call, so here we are!
What a crazy few years its been! When I first started writing blogs it was to pass the time during the pandemic and to help myself unpack my life experiences in the hopes it would help someone else. Little did I know that that very notion would steer me along the career path that I am on now. Empowering other people. - I guess that’s why I maybe felt the need to write this today, to show how life is full of constant re routes and that you will always end up where you are supposed to be, no matter how hard the journey feels.
I wish I could say everything was easy from the last blog, but that would be a lie. The journey of self love and self awareness will cost you everything you once knew, but, I promise you, that old version of you and all of its attachments no longer serve you.
At the time of my last blog I was going through a deep dive of rebalancing my masculine energy and let me tell you, I’m still going, but I have learnt to surrender so much more than ever before. - I think that really is the secret with life, we live in patterns and cycles and even though we are pushing outside of our comfort zone, we always find that on the other side there is another layer and another and another. I don’t know if we’ll ever unlock all of the layers but I think that’s the beauty of life, the journey, as I’ve said a million times before!
I say this all the time but now more than ever it feels most prevalent. I had to go through every hard time to shape me into the version of myself now. The me that can stand on stages and inspire people with my story, the me that can help people fall back in love with themselves and feel good. I never realised how much of a gift that was until now. A year ago I graduated from my masters with the ideas of setting up workshops focused on empowerment and some form of workbook or journal that I could use as a tool to help people. Fast forward a year, I managed to bring those goals into fruition, without knocking down doors, without battling, through just being myself and being in alignment with my souls path. “What is a souls path/ your souls path I hear you say?!” If you’ve listened to any of my talks you’ll know what I’m going to say, but if you haven’t, today is your lucky day! I believe our souls purpose is who we are, it’s our passion. It is the thing that you do better than anyone else, the thing you can’t go a day without doing, researching, exploring. And in fact, if you don’t do it, you feel empty, sad, not yourself. Now at this point you are probably thinking “well that doesn’t pay the bills”, but what if it could? What if you did take it seriously? These are the questions you have to ask yourself if your soul is yearning for more. Societally we are taught that creativity doesn’t make money, its better to have a stable job! - I’m sorry but YOU create stability for you and the people that started that notion are the ones that wanted you to work for them!
I could talk about this subject alone for a whole book but fundamentally, life is short, you can choose to repeat the same patterns that get you the same outcomes, or you can dare to dream, you can have freedom, you can have fulfilment. Now just because you go after your dreams doesn’t mean suddenly the universe waves a wand and brings it to you, but it does mean the rewards will be richer, the hardships will present life changing lessons and the wins will be so deep that they will penetrate your soul. - I am nowhere near where I want to be but, I have cried tears of joy over my career more times this year than my entire life.
I could feel the shift inside me as I was about to turn 30, there is a quote featured in the film Coach Carter my Marianne Williamson called ‘Our Greatest Fear’ that best describes how I view this stage of my life “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure, It is our light not our darkness that frightens us”. My perspective is I know what its like to feel less than, to feel not good enough or not right, so why not try something different, why not push out of my comfort zones, because failure is familiar to me but greatness beyond measure that’s something I deserve to have. And so do you!
Ok, key lessons. By the way if you want help with any of these concepts or want to explore them yourself, I have a Journal you can buy here. I also offer 1:1 mentoring session you deserve to be the main character of your story, find out more here.
Boundaries
I’ve spoken about it before and I’ll keep speaking about them because the more you grow the tighter your boundaries need to be.
You have to be your number 1 priority above all else. If you do not love and respect yourself, your time and your space, people, work and life will cross your boundaries leaving you feeling resentful and deflated. Get clear on what you are willing to accept and what you are not. As harsh as it sounds anything/anyone that consistently crosses your boundaries can be released.
You deserve to love to yourself first. Remember you can’t give from an empty cup!
Letting go
Painful but true. Not everyone you cross paths with is meant to stay on your journey with you. Ultimately we all have individual paths so stay true to you. People pleasing or making yourself small in order to feel accepted by people is a big NO. You were born to sparkle and take up space!! Again love yourself so fearlessly that you release anything or anyone that does not serve your highest good.
Speak your truth
When I say this I mean speak from your heart, we are so concerned about not ruffling feathers that often we don’t say what we truly want or feel. You are not a door mat! State what it is that you want and if people can’t accept your truth, follow the guidance above! And if you don’t know what you want, the universe won’t know what to send you ;)
Invest in yourself
Yes we learn so much through experience, but we can learn so much more through reading, interacting with like-minded people (mentors, courses), listening to podcasts. Life I feel, is all about growth, mentally and spiritually because physical growth is inevitable right!
Treat yourself often
I know that when money is tight the first thing to pull back on is treats for ourselves. When you do not treat yourself you are telling the universe you are not worthy of the things you want, that is what we call a lack mindset. I promise you that the more you treat yourself the more the universe will bring you - Abundance mindset. You attract what you are, are you a high value person worthy of their dreams? Yes? Then shout it from the roof tops and declare it to the universe and watch your life transform. (You’ve got to believe it though or it doesn’t work!!)
Do the work
Now I know a lot of people that think they are doing the work when they are not. Doing the work requires you to get uncomfortable, to address your flaws to call out your own BS, childhood trauma, the lot. The outside world around us is a mirror of our inner world, so if you are surrounded by horrible, selfish people then honey that’s a reflection of yourself and you need to do the damn work! The right people will gravitate towards you as you evolve.
People will only value/ Love you as much as they love themselves
Yep this one is personal ha! This is a lesson I keep learning and its because I am dedicated to becoming the best version of myself and some people aren’t and that’s ok they either aren’t my people, they are a mirror or I was sent to them to inspire them evolve. - What I could be!
We all have wounds from our past that we carry with us and project out to the world, but unless we address these wounds and heal them nothing will change and you will keep attracting hurt people and it definitely is not your job to fix them. In fact, in this position ask yourself what part of me is still wounded and work on healing yourself. Your vibe attracts your tribe so love yourself more and keep looking inwards. The right people will always show up and who knows you could inspire others to grow too.
All in all, the journey of life is filled with constant cycles of highs and lows, but if we didn’t have the lows we wouldn’t appreciate the highs and in fact, it’s during the lows that we learn the lessons and formulate the tools that help us to navigate our way out quicker each time. As I said at the beginning, since I stepped into my path of empowerment and empowering others it has not been easy and I have 100% revisited some harsh lows, but in those lows I have been able to strengthen my navigation tools so I know they work and that they will help so many people. In summery this journey has been every bit rewarding and the deepest win I’ve ever experienced in my working life. If you are searching for deep wins I’d love to help you!
Choose you, choose your dreams and allow yourself to shine bright as that light, your light, will shine out onto the whole world around you!
You are brave
You are strong
You are powerful
You are enough
You are deserving
You are worthy of your dreams! - So go and chase them! You are never too old to start, Time is an illusion!
“You are the only you there is, that is your superpower” - Sherisse x